Caregiver in Fair Oaks CA
As a family caregiver it is your responsibility to make sure that your parent lives the happiest, healthiest, and safest life that they can as they age in place. While you are doing this, however, it is important to remember that it is not your opinions and thoughts that are what matters. No matter how old your parent is or what they are facing, they are still an individual who has their own beliefs, opinions, and thoughts regarding their health, care, and future. This, of course, does change if they are suffering from extensive cognitive challenges such as those associated with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, but if they are not, or if they are only in the early stages of this disease, it is vital that you respect your parent’s thoughts and wishes regarding their care and do what you can to ensure that they are upheld as much as possible.
What happens, however, if you disagree with what they have decided for themselves? Facing a situation when you are evaluating your parent’s care and they have made a decision that is completely against what you believe that they should do can be stressful and frustrating. You want what is best for your loved one and you believe that you know what that is. When they go against it, you may feel as though they are being difficult or that they are making a mistake that could have very serious consequences for them. If this happens, it is important that you take the time to step back, evaluate the situation further, and remind yourself of the true value of your role so you can do what is actually best for your parent.
Use these tips to help you cope when you disagree with your parent’s care decisions:
- Understand their side. Ask yourself whether you are upset about the situation because you think that they are truly making a bad decision for their current situation, or if it is just because they disagree with you. Take the time to really evaluate and understand their side of the situation and the decision that they have made. Consider why they made that choice and educate yourself on it completely so that you can maybe find common ground and see how this could be the right choice for them.
- Present your side respectfully. Avoid the temptation to try to force your thoughts on your parent or to be aggressive and argue with them about what you think that they should do. If you believe that they do not fully understand your side, calmly and respectfully present your side to them. Make sure that they really get why you believe what you do, but then leave it alone. Give them the information that they need, but still allow them to make the decision that is right for them.
- Remind yourself that you are a caregiver. Your role is a caregiver, not as a life micromanager. It is not your job to tell your parent how to live, but rather to facilitate them living the life that they desire. As long as they are not making decisions that are obviously dangerous or haphazard, they have the right to make those decisions for themselves and it is your job to just encourage them, nurture them, and help them achieve what they desire.